Is it love or infatuation intimacy
By McKenzie Collins on 2017-02-19
How can we know if it is true love or nothing more than an obsession?
To explain any all-consuming feeling by means of love seems the most sensual answer. For most of us, it would be an embarrassing task to even consider our feelings as only sexually-rooted. The idea of infatuation denotes a similar stigma to obsessive and desperate behavior. It’s not regarded highly; in fact, it’s hardly taken seriously as a feeling at all. We see it as a sign of a weak and artificial character.
Infatuation, however, is not something experienced by few people. Most of us at some stage have found ourselves besotted with another’s appearance and little more about them. The feeling doesn’t suggest a pathetic individual nor the shallow nature of someone. We’re humans and we are driven by sexual motives. For this sake, sometimes it is the case that we are solely sexually attracted to someone.
Infatuation can have a both intriguing and concerning effect on an individual. If you are infatuated, you’re likely to put your partner on a pedestal. You don’t believe they can do wrong. In the case they do, you ignore it. Without an objective perspective on your partner, you can become extremely vulnerable to disappointment or hurt if they don’t live up to your expectations.
Infatuation can evoke odd behavior, particularly if you believe you’re in love. Not only are you likely to obsess over your partner, you’ll obsess over the concept of love itself too. From lust will come your definition of love. This is most concerning as the rest of your love life is likely to be based on a skewed definition.
When an infatuated individual falls hard and receives no reciprocated response (as is often the case where obsessions are formed), their perception of love becomes tainted. You may see love as a painful endeavor, one unworthy of participation. You might be turned off seeking it in the future.
Simply because we can mistake infatuation for love does not mean love does not exist. Sometimes, when you feel as if you’re in love, it’s because you really are. How can we be sure? Well, there’s a few things you should know about love.
Love is not meant to hurt. Indeed, there will be times it may prove difficult, but essentially, it should be pleasurable. So if you’re experiencing a lot of pain, chances are what you’re feeling or engaging in is not love at all.
Love should lift you, not pull you down. For once, films do depict a reasonably accurate portrayal: when you’re in love, you should be your happiest (even soppiest) version of yourself! Love softens people. It brings out their compassionate and caring side. In the case your feelings have persisted over a long time and exist in a mental, spiritual and physical manner, you may indeed be in love.
Furthermore, love requires that you accept and appreciate all aspects to a person. You acknowledge them as imperfect. You see them as they are (a holder of flaws) and regardless, find yourself desiring to be with them. Love pushes for a connection beyond surface level. It is meaningful and multi-faceted. It cannot be summed by an action such as sex or even words such as “I love you”. As weighty as these three are, even they do not depict the true strength and depth of the feeling.
Although there may be cases of love at first sight, true love tends to build itself. For us to find love with another requires we know our partner extremely well. This means being aware of their greatest assets as well as their most significant downfalls. Learning such information about a person takes time.
We ought to be wary of what feels like love after only a short period of time. Often, it is better to wait to see if the feeling prevails. To admit to ourselves that we’re in love when we’re in fact not can be detrimental to the direction of our actions. To share it with another person can shock the relationship too.
The point is, when you’re in love, you’ll know. You’ll know because it’ll feel right. It won’t feel like every other relationship you’ve ever had, but something much bigger. The feeling won’t be depicted by sexual attraction alone. You’ll find yourself in love with their mind. The way they see the world. You’ll experience happiness and drive. You’ll desire to be the best person you can be not solely for you anymore, but for them.
Love will come when it’s meant to, and we should avoid rushing its arrival. If we are obsessive, desperate or quick to conclude the feeling, this shall only lengthen the wait for the real thing.